This year was unlike my previous years. This year was about transformation or at least the first step to that. You see I have been living with my family and close relatives before making my move abroad in mid-2021. Now that was a big move but I didn’t realize it then as I thought I would be back in a year after my course ends. So, 2021–2022 was about me completing my course, making friends, understanding the local culture (and language), traveling, and more just knowing this new place better. I made mistakes. I made memories. I received opportunities. I faced rejections. Touched down on milestones. Failed! Met new people. Fell out of love. Fell in love. Experienced so many new things that I can’t possibly explain with words here. Nevertheless, I embraced them all. One thing led to another and I was still here in 2022–2023. You see I changed plans and luckily my parents supported me. Blame it on the stars or my naivety but things went nothing as planned. But did I sit back and cry at my luck? Did I complain a lot? Did I forget to live while trying to make things right even though they kept going south every single time? Yes! I even made videos of myself while I cried and complained. I stopped actively connecting with people back home. I stopped posting on social media because it just didn’t give me that dopamine I always had before. I didn’t go out as much. I just started to become more home-bound, finding comfort in a few people around me and mostly reflecting. 2023 started with the loss of one of my closest family members who was also one of my biggest supporters and ended with yet again the loss of another family member, my grandmother, who was a piece of my heart. Dealing with these losses from faraway alone was an experience in itself but that was an experience in itself too. I won’t say I got stronger as I am still learning but there will come a day when I do say that. So while I stopped doing everything I mentioned above, I picked up new habits. Or activities. When I wasn’t connecting with people back home, I was connecting with people around me who knew my situation and what I was going through much better and could advise me. When I stopped posting on social media, I felt peaceful and enjoyed the moments while they were happening. I also felt more focused on DOING things rather than MAKING them juicy for social media. I didn’t go out as much but I stayed in and learned new skills online. That was the focus I needed in all these years. I also journaled a lot and that gave a clarity about myself. Clarity about a lot of things that had always bothered me and the way to go on through kindness for myself and the people I love and care about. So, moving on to 2024, I feel a little mature, a little adult-y, while still having the child in me that gets excited about the smallest of things. I focus on myself and I change my negative thoughts to positive whenever I feel it arising. It's not that easy but it’s easier than before as I feel clarity in myself. That’s all. No big things, just a goodbye to one of the difficult years but a beautiful one!!!! 💞
Happy New Year guys! Wishing you all peace, clarity, love, and success in whatever you find happiness in. Keep moving, keep pushing against the wind and I’ll see you another year.
XOXO
